Oct 6, 2012

Things I'm afraid to tell you

I'm going to start off by saying... I remember seeing everyone doing these, I think, at the beginning of the year. (Maybe it's been around longer?) Not sure but the image is from here, and it might also be where the whole idea came from too.
Anyways, when I did first started seeing these posts I didn't really feel like participating in them. But I do now. I don't know why I feel like doing one of these posts now, but I'm thinking... why not? I guess I feel like sharing more about me. Hope that's cool.
- I used to have a lot of weird fears growing up. I used to be afraid of running my own bathtub water. I think it was something to do with how loud the running water sounded coming out. It freaked me out. I had weird dreams where I couldn't stop the water from coming out and the whole house would flood. I would get my mom to run my bathwater for the longest time. She didn't even question it, she ran my bathwater up until I started high school and we moved into a new house.
- I feel like I connect and get along way better, with animals than I do with people. When I was younger (and still didn't know that animation/art could be a career choice,) I wanted to be a vet. I once told my Dad about my dream and he asked me why not become a doctor for humans instead? Then he asked me if I thought saving an animals life was more important than a humans...at that age, I decided that saying nothing was better.
- I've had an issue with my weight ever since I hit puberty. I think, I know, it has a lot to do with my Mom telling me how big I was at like, age 12. She would make a fuss about having to find me pants that fit right or how I was bigger than my friends. She would tell me how many treats/snacks I could have. I look back at photos now and see how damn skinny I was! Ugh. Makes me sad to think I wasted so much of my early teens being depressed and crying about my weight, wishing I was skinnier so I could be happy. So my family would be happy. When really I was normal. Its sad to think my Mom thought I was huge back then when really I was fine. I'm pretty curvy now, I like to think chubby. So she must think I'm on the verge of death.
- I am pretty quiet/shy in person, (like every other blogger...) especially if were first meeting. I do open up after eventually. I am so awkward when I first meet people that I probably come off as a...... well you know. I do better when someone starts talking to me first. I also get into moods where I just don't talk at all, It can be from a few minutes to a few hours. Anyone that has experienced this with me, gets so annoyed. It's something I'm working on.
- Sometimes I feel like I'm not good at spelling. Sometimes even simple words, I have to double check them because they just look wrong to me.
- Like a lot of people, I think about the future and money. I'm in debt. A lot of debt. I've come to terms that I'l be in debt for a very long time. I wish I wasn't but ohwell that's life.. I get nervous thinking about my career path. I know what I want to do, but it's hard. There isn't enough jobs right now. Everyone's suffering. I just want a good paying animation job that's steady (and with benefits, would be nice) I want to do something that makes me happy, something I can live off of. I get nervous thinking about where I'll be career wise when I'm in my 30s. I hope it's somewhere good.
- I don't like sharp things near my eyes. If someone is holding/playing with a pencil, (lets say, while were studying) I have to ask them to put the pencil down. Sometimes when theres a cup with a straw in it, and it's too close to me. I have to move the straw over to the other side of the cup. Sometimes I bend it too. If I don't do something my eyes start to feel itchy, I start twitching and I blink a lot.
Well, I feel like that's enough. Sorry about how long each point was. Once you get me going, I can't stop!


  1. i'm with you on a lot of things on this list... especially the animals, weight issues, and debt. i love the design of your blog, though :) and thank you for stopping by my blog hop! xx

  2. I think I was scared of the bathwater draining when I was a kid, it made a screaming sound and my mum always got me to get out of the bath before she drained it, so I think I thought there was something dangerous about it? I was also terrified of escalators, once I got left at the top of one, because I was too scared to get on. My mum had to hold my hand to get me to get on them. I wasn't scared of travelators (the ramp version) at all though. Just the ones with stairs. Although they are kind of dangerous, people do get hurt sometimes.

    Sometimes parents say things to kids thoughtlessly and don't realise how much they hurt. I still remember stupid thoughtless things mine said when I was a kid!

    1. Ah, the draining of the bath water... It did make a weird sound! No ones parents are perfect. lol

  3. first time visitor, and i love this post! so honest, we all go through these things and it is important to keep your head up! i am also really similar in personality as far as meeting people goes :D


  4. oh man, my mom was a total jerk to me about my weight after i went through puberty too! i felt HUGE but when I look back now i would love to be that small again! why to moms do that to us? ugh.

    1. I don't know, maybe her mom was like that too?


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